While I was watching T.V I saw this commercial on ETC channel 9. They’ve made the commercial using the clips from “He’s just not that into you” and “500 days of summer” for its free T.V premiere. The commercial was about the ‘the 5 stages of Breaking-up ’. So here are the stages… 1.)DENIAL 2.)ANGER 3.)BARGAINING 4.) DEPRESSION 5.) ACCEPTANCE
I’ll be honest and I will tell you humbly that I’m now at stage 3, BARGAINING. Yes, I asked for a second chance. But I’m afraid that he’s not willing to give me one. He’s the one who broke up with me before. He told me a lot of reasons why he did, but honestly, I think he just feel pressured by other things. And that “It’s not you, It’s me” shit is one of his reasons. But the weird thing is. I still want to be with him.
So there I was. Bargaining; bargaining my feelings and my self esteem hoping that he would realize that he still loves me. I know. It’s stupid and pathetic but that who ever you are reading this right now; I know that you’ve been through this before. And what scares me most is that after Bargaining, there’s Depression.
Depression; honestly I think I can feel it now. I can feel it starting in my hands. My hands are a bit shaky, my palms are sweaty and I feel cold. Even though it’s summer time. And god knows my eyes are next. I want to cry now. I feel bad for myself. It was like “what happened to me?” I feel like A total shit right now. I want to skip this part. I’ll skip this part if I had A choice. But I can’t because it already started.
I sometimes wish I Hadn’t met him. But then my best friend told me how lucky I am that I felt this thing. This pain. How lucky I am that I’m feeling like shit.
I’m on a serious emotional shit right now. And man; look at you? You’re still reading this. If you made it this far, then I thank you. I don’t know you but I already know that you are a good friend. And I know that like me you’re also going through some “serious emotional shit” too.
For anyone who’s reading this, I want you to know that I’m gonna be fine. And that I’m not a suicidal person. This is not a suicidal blog entry. And that whether you like this post or not, whether you’re going to re-blog it or not, I am happy that you continue on reading this.
Now I’m looking for love. A love that will never give heartache, Preferably a kind of love that’s not gonna make me feel like shit. And I’m not looking for a romantic love. A different kind of love.
“She wasn’t bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. A kind of sad that just takes time. ”